51 Comments

This wasn't Mike Sowden's worst newsletter.

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I'll try harder next time! Or try half as hard. Definitely one of the two, I promise.

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Oh, it's okay, Mike. I am sure you're already doing ... everything you can.

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A little less than that, if I can get away with it!

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This deserves the full British triumvirate. Not bad. Thank you so much. Sorry.

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Oh, this is the praise equivalent of being served a fry-up with everything, like, *everything*. Even enough toast. *Even enough butter sachets for the extra toast*.

I will treasure this lukewarm praise, Katherine. Thank you.

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Even better: the toast comes with Marmite

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Fear not, Mike. Nobody celebrates World Compliment Day across the pond, either. Just because it's a thing doesn't make it A Thing. :) In fact, this is the first I;'ve heard of it. It's probably the same day as Salami Appreciation Day, or Day of Train Visibility, or North Dakota Accordion Day. Nobody pays attention to these. :)

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I suspected as much. 😁 All the websites mentioning it were terrible attention-baiting things plastered with random banners, so I assumed it was Yet Another Of Those National Day Days. But it proved a fun jumping-off point into some science I didn't know, so I don't regret getting sidetracked (this time)...

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Annette, I just asked Mike a question below yours. Are you planning to leave Substack also, because the problems with Nazis, and white supremacy?

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I love this! Having been raised by two Brits in America, when my friends were being slathered in clear and well articulated praise, I was receiving a string of "not bads." It fucked me up. Even now, at my age, it's tender--though I do now understand it's the Very Highest Form Of Praise. Not sure if being raised in a country where everyone was getting not badded on a regular basis would have made it easier?? I do know I've grown into someone who spends a lot of time praising people in clear and joyful words! Thanks for this post!

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HOORAY FOR RAMPANT, UNBRIDLED NOTBADDING. I think a certain amount of it is grounding, and beyond that, a British amount of it is destroying. There must be a sweet spot between the two, and it probably exists somewhere in Europe, somewhere with pretty good but not amazing weather, where the food is perfectly fine but nothing to write home about. I intend to find that place one day.

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Not the worst thing I’ve read today. 😉

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Jan 27·edited Jan 27Author

I'm both relieved and oddly disappointed. :)

(Thank you!)

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As a Brit living overseas for 18 years, I have spent a lot of time trying to translate the nuances of British English. It's a myth that the English-speaking world shares the same language. Brits are masters of subtlety and nuance and you need a masters degree in reading between the lines. I'm still trying to help my partner understand that 'maybe' can mean yes or no, it's all in the tone! Appreciating the reminder that I'm not just a weirdo, it's my cultural heritage (and therefore deserves respect) 😄

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Thank you! Oh yeah, "maybe" is such a minefield. Absolutely endless permutations, ranging from glowing approval to savage condemnation:

"Maybe I could help you across the road here?" for example, could be "Hello, can I help?" or "get a bloody move-on before one of us dies" or anything in between.

In short: I don't know how and why we do it, but I guess we're stuck with it.

Maybe, anyway.

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Jan 25Liked by Mike Sowden

Thanks for the shoutout, Mike! I’m thrilled to read more about the boops boops despite their unfortunate fate in Pompeii 😬

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Absolutely my pleasure! I laughed so much about all this, what glorious madness. Keep up the good work!

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Jan 25Liked by Mike Sowden

It may have entered mine and Mikey’s vernacular ever since we saw it. Likewise!!

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This was ok...

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Feb 16·edited Feb 16Author

I've written worse, Jolene!

Not often, though. Not often.

Rarely, even.

....

Okay, there was this one time. But we don't talk about it.

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😂 have a good weekend, Mike!

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I don't take your dry humor as rude at all. I fact I prefer it to other types of humor. I think that is why I follow many substacks in the UK.

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If you follow a lot of us, you should be inoculated against our humour by now, yes. But beware if you're speaking to non-Brits! You might find yourself creating a scene or even a diplomatic incident. This is the danger of reading Brits - you go a bit British, and that can be a *terrible* thing, Linda.

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Love this... always something of interest.

You're the Godfather of Knowledge, Mike. If anyone had ever said to me that I'd be following a science newsletter, I would have said, 'Yeah, right!' because I bend far more to the creative than the analytic.

But you have such a persuasive knack, such an ability to make everything interesting, that my science cells are beginning to open up. Thank you.

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Well, gosh. Prue, this is really the loveliest comment, thank you - and for a change, I'm at a total loss for sardonic or self-deprecating replies. So, just - thank you.

(And HOORAY FOR SCIENCE CELLS OPENING.)

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Pleasure, Mike.

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So, at the risk of not being half as interesting as I think I am, here's something I think is interesting, with or without me.

Having popped to the petrol station to get some bread, I was lavishly buttering a slice of the stuff of life when my eye caught the wrapper it'd come in. In two languages, five closely-spaced paragraphs of eight lines each to tell me how wonderful the bakery is, and the question occurred to me: who sits and reads 5 closely-spaced paragraphs of 8 lines each on a bread wrapper in either language?

Anyhow, I decided to read one of them, which says (I translate for the ignorant): "Panos was created in 1982 by La Lorraine Bakery Group, a Belgian family enterprise passionate about quality bakery." My eyes narrowed: "family enterprise"? You're kidding. And ... they are.

Panos, of Ostend, was taken over by Deli in 1988, at which time it had 11 branches. Deli then became part of La Lorraine in 1990, not, as stated, in 1982. Plus, it's not quite what you'd call a "family enterprise", even though I don't know who the shareholders are, and don't much care.

Panos is the Belgian Gregg's and, according to Wikipedia, has "a philosophy of being present everywhere." That it has a philosophy makes my eyes narrow that bit more, but I learn with greatest surprise that they want to be everywhere, because I'll lay a dime to a dollar you've never heard of them. Anyhow, Gregg's has them beat pat-a-cake hands down with a foundation in 1939. The Gregg's entry in Wikipedia isn't available in either French or Dutch, but is available in English, Spanish, Korean, Arabic, Chinese, Japanese, Welsh, Danish and, of course, Farsi. The entry for Panos is available in Dutch. Only. Thus reflecting their heartfelt philosophy of "wanting to be present everywhere." Bon appétit. Or نوش جون, as they say in Farsi.

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I love this, Graham. Hooray for these kinds of rabbit-holes! (And for the power of taking the time to read food labels, because that's a thing I enjoy as well, after discovering all the ridiculous & surreal humour Innocent Drinks have smuggled onto theirs..).

Also - I think (think) I may have got a croque monsieur from a Panos, as I have a friend who used to live in Louvain-La-Neuve. Either way, I love the faint suggestion here that either Greggs took one look at Panos and thought "nah, they've got the Dutch market sewn up, we'll just stick to the rest of the world" - or, much more likely, the reverse happened...although as far as I can tell, there isn't a single Greggs outlet actually outside the UK, so I guess it's just Greggs making sure they're being as multiculturally British as possible?

Also, a delightfully random thing I just saw on the Wikipedia page when checking the above:

"In July 2002, American actress and model Milla Jovovich, a fan of the store and its pasties, said that she would be willing to become the "face of Greggs" in a new marketing campaign if the firm approached her. However, no such approach was made."

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The pastie-faced Milla Jovovich. To be honest, never heard of her. But Anastasia did model clothing for Aldi. Of course, we don't know what fee Ms Jovovich had proposed ...

Wikipedia is always concerned that its entries on living persons could get it sued. It should be more concerned that entries about living corporations don't get it laughed at. Too many ad men lurking in the Wik.

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Jan 25·edited Jan 25Liked by Mike Sowden

So Paul Salopek might *actually* be walking the shortest route possible from Ethiopia to Chile, hm ...

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I hadn't considered that! Yes, you're right - blimey.

Well, that's another face-down-on-the-carpet-screaming session I need to book for myself. How absolutely mad that THAT is the "shortcut".

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It just ... should not make sense! But it does!

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Jan 25Liked by Mike Sowden

Garum sounds suspiciously like fermented fish sauce- a yummy addition to many food sauces. I think the description biases the response. Let's try it! Control the decay of Boop Boops!

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I think you're right! Commendably visceral wording from National Geographic there, but if it's just described as "fish sauce", that changes things a bit. A bit. I'm reserving judgement until I actually taste it - which makes me wonder if any food archaeologists have had a go at making it in the Roman style, like Farrell Monaco: https://tavolamediterranea.com/category/edible-archaeology/

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This definitely gives me an excuse to 1. Buy a new cookbook (it's been on my list)

2. Ferment something new.

3. Make pizza!

Thanks for the noodge.

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Jan 25Liked by Mike Sowden

Mike, great post. I wanted to ask you what your plans are for this platform? A lot reputable people/pages are leaving Substack, because of the problems with Nazis, and white supremacy. Are you looking to change platforms also? It seems people are leaving, and going to Beehiive to reestablish the pages from Substack. Will you keep us informed on your plans?

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Thanks, Colin! Yes - I know that Phil Plait's just moved as of today (I've chatted with him about it), and of course Platformer's gone, and Today In Tabs, and so many others with huge presences and credibility on here. I've been really uneasy about what's been happening, as I said here - https://everythingisamazing.substack.com/p/it-really-is-different-if-were-really - and I definitely believe there's a line between free speech and hate speech that needs to be publicly discussed and acted upon. I'm not leaving for now, simply for selfish practical reasons, so I'm still on Substack at least in the short term (as are many other friends who are similarly concerned but have made the decision to stick around for a bit). But I'm definitely not supporting Substack's communications around this issue, which have been a mess. You'll certainly know more when I decide upon it!

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Jan 25Liked by Mike Sowden

Thank you for your input, really appreciate it.

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Jan 25Liked by Mike Sowden

Oh, not half bad, I suppose. You've only got half an omelette on your vest dear chap.

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A half-triumph!

But also, a half-disaster.

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So much whimsy. This post boops.

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I noticed this, from the Wikipedia entry:

"The name boops (Greek βόωψ, "ox-eyed") is mentioned due to the fish’s large eyes"

Therefore your new name is Boops Ettenberg, my friend. The science is conclusive on this.

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Hah! I’ve been called worse for sure.

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