Going for walks in nature reminds us that the natural world goes on no matter what idiotic humans are doing. Whales are especially wonderful to watch in these trying times. Do volunteer work that makes you feel better about making your corner of the world better. Watching comfort TV shows and reading books that you love.
1, I think this is true - what I see is so many people who inexplicably believe what the grifters are telling them. Even otherwise smart people. Can't tell you how many people have said to me "oh, they wouldn't do that". (I live in a deeply red state right in the middle of this madness, it's a daily struggle.)
2. Yes
3. YES YES YES YES YES
4. Yes - people will rally around what they love - but they have to love it! Maybe the best thing I give the world right now is a reminder of what there is to love.
5. Or go for a really long walk. Walking helps.
6. Soooo true
Mine: 1) breathwork + somatics - it's hard to think of other things when you have to focus on breath and movement. 2) self hypnosis or guided meditations because my mind needs a positive daydreaming path, 3) Shaking. Just shake your body. Dance if you want to. Pretend you are shaking it all out and they that you are shaking to bring joy to every cell in your body. 4) Create a recess activity board of all the things you can do when you have a few minutes that are nourishing to your body, mind, and spirit. I have 19 things on mine and a 20 sided die so I don't even have to choose. 5) Music. Any music. More music. Humming, singing, listening, playing, any form of music. 6) Daydream the most ridiculous positive outcomes you can for whatever you are worried about. For instance, yesterday I imagined that three seats in congress flipped and control flipped to the dems. They somehow elected AOC as speaker and then when the same happened in the senate, they impeached the orange man and his henchman and AOC became president. (not withstanding what you think of AOC, I was going for something wildly in the other direction) I like the phrase, "don't abuse your imagination by dreaming up all the worst outcomes" and it's good to give your imagination a much better path to run down.
All that said - this is definitely a challenging time and is going to be for a while. The biggest act of resisance I have is to find joy every day.
Did I mention I have installed small white boards all over my house and I write notes to myself with inspirational messages, reminders, and just little bits of encouragement? Plus I have one whole wall of inspirational quotes and things to help my mindset.
1) Talk to person from the other side of the political spectrum, and ask lot's of questions. You will find their side interesting, trust me. Where their ideas come from, (much as Mike stated above, a lot of it is fear based). STAY curious, and try not to make counter statements, that lead to them "digging in the heels". Wait for them to ask you questions, and don't be surprised if they don't follow the same rules in engagement. Be patient.
2) Breathe. Get outside, for any reason (I know not earth shattering, but it is THE antidote to all sorts of things).
3) Get Off-line or tailor your social media feeds to stop the spiral. Go Analog!
4) Volunteer. At ANYTHING. Doing "Something" especially in the real world is immensely helpful.
5) Learn a new skill. If you don't know how to cook/paint/write/build, find a new skill. Personally, I am cooking right now, and really loving it.
Not very original, I know. But sometimes the answers are right there, in the simple things.
Completely agree with these! I talk to people across the political spectrum daily bc I work in bridge-building and those conversations can be tense sometimes, but so rewarding. Has to be coupled with getting offline regularly though for me.
Hard to add anything original to this list when the classics are classics for a reason!
I believe reading this piece (as a good example) and other reasoned positive essays which are not overly dramatic is a reassuring way to regain one’s own balance and organise your thoughts. Thanks Mike.
What I wrote this morning. Essentially doing nothing not an option, doing everything not an option, so chose SOME actions to help bind wounds and tell the truth, engage more with people directly, personally continue to write stuff which shows decency and ends in optimism even when I am personally not, keep telling the people who matter to me I do. And if your helplessness means you need to call me out for doing even a little, please don't. https://stephencox.substack.com/p/writing-good-work-in-bad-times
Give yourself time to create something. Try a craft or an art tutorial or frost some cookies! Or sit down and color. It’s meditative and good for your health! (And don’t say “I’m not creative” because that’s bogus.)
Appreciate your list of tactics, Mike, and employ many of them. I have two additional ideas that I come back to often.
1. Direct your energy to that which is in your sphere of influence.
2. Better living through lowered expectations.
Both of these could be construed as cop-outs or falling prey to thinking too small. I see them differently. I can't influence much that's happening on a global scale, and my ability to significantly affect our national crisis is pretty limited. But I can pay attention to city- and county-level politics. I can check on the folks in my community who might need some extra help right now. I can look for ways to build community.
When I seek common ground among those with whom I know I disagree, I usually find something. I can't expect to change anyone's mind, but I can cultivate civility.
Meet people face to face. There have been so many times in my work as a journalist that I've interviewed someone or reported from a demonstration held by people whose politics I don't share (which is putting it mildly) only to have been gobsmacked to discover that they are generally kind, thoughtful people trying to do right by their families and communities. It's a reminder of everyone's humanity that is hard to get when you're only interacting through screens.
So many good things on this thread, both from you Mike and from your readers. I think many of them work very well but two things are essential to me in hard times (learned from the Bhagavad Gita, which is set in a battlefield): 1. focus on what you do have (which is a subset of gratitude). It is too easy to always concentrate on the losses or what is missing but there are plenty of treasures and allies right here (for me, I cannot speak for everyone) and 2. Remember your values, principles, reasons for being here. Once I articulated these, they became my North star, allowing me to navigate the darkest of nights.
- gratitude journaling (it sounds stupid, but it does actually help)
- "it's not your fault, but it is your responsibility"
- everything is a practice
- "don't just do something, stand there"
- we must do things that are not enough. If we're getting in shape, one walk isn't enough. If we're solving climate change, picking up litter is not enough. But it will never be enough unless we start with the things that aren't.
- the smarter you are, the easier it is to justify anything to yourself and others. Have intellectual humility.
- whether you do the hard thing or not, the time will still pass. Three years from now, you will be three years older, the question is what will you have accomplished in that time?
- emotions are not inherently good or bad, they're data. Observe them.
- you cannot always have things without an emotional cost. Feel guilty for asking for help? Don't ask how not to feel guilty, do it with the guilt, fear, anxiety. Welcome them and do not shy away from any experience.
(1) There is no "them." There's just "us." Avoiding general hand-wavy doomsaying about "them", as a language habit, requires you to be more specific about who you're calling out for what. And adopting the habit of "us" language also means that you keep the mantle of agency. I can't do anything to change "them" but I can do a lot to change "us."
(2) If you feel blocked on getting started with something you want to do (or something you need to do regardless of whether you want to), break it down into smaller steps, and just start with the first step. If you get stuck on that, break just that piece down into smaller steps. Sometimes the reason we procrastinate is that the to-do item is just too big to bite off. "Start a new community event series" is not a single to-do, but "email Tricia to ask about event room availability at the library" is. "Start doing yoga" is too vague to be actionable, but "look up dates and times of beginner classes at studio on Elm St" is totally do-able.
It might seem an odd thing to bring to a science newsletter, but one of the greatest lessons of my life were my mom’s on spiritual discipline. Specifically, showing up to Quaker Meeting of a Sunday even when my peers had aged out and were nowhere to be found. She would tell me, “God doesn’t show up because you decided to show up. God shows up when God decides. Your only job is to show up so when God decides to show up you don’t miss it.”
I find this to be true with love and inspiration and understanding and all manner of elusive, non-corporeal things. My job isn’t to know. It’s to show up with an openness to receiving. That’s it.
Going for walks in nature reminds us that the natural world goes on no matter what idiotic humans are doing. Whales are especially wonderful to watch in these trying times. Do volunteer work that makes you feel better about making your corner of the world better. Watching comfort TV shows and reading books that you love.
Meditation with exercise & music or a video. Sometimes with THC.....
Anxiety only lives in the future and therefore, it never needs to tell you the truth. That’s why it’s so frightening.
1, I think this is true - what I see is so many people who inexplicably believe what the grifters are telling them. Even otherwise smart people. Can't tell you how many people have said to me "oh, they wouldn't do that". (I live in a deeply red state right in the middle of this madness, it's a daily struggle.)
2. Yes
3. YES YES YES YES YES
4. Yes - people will rally around what they love - but they have to love it! Maybe the best thing I give the world right now is a reminder of what there is to love.
5. Or go for a really long walk. Walking helps.
6. Soooo true
Mine: 1) breathwork + somatics - it's hard to think of other things when you have to focus on breath and movement. 2) self hypnosis or guided meditations because my mind needs a positive daydreaming path, 3) Shaking. Just shake your body. Dance if you want to. Pretend you are shaking it all out and they that you are shaking to bring joy to every cell in your body. 4) Create a recess activity board of all the things you can do when you have a few minutes that are nourishing to your body, mind, and spirit. I have 19 things on mine and a 20 sided die so I don't even have to choose. 5) Music. Any music. More music. Humming, singing, listening, playing, any form of music. 6) Daydream the most ridiculous positive outcomes you can for whatever you are worried about. For instance, yesterday I imagined that three seats in congress flipped and control flipped to the dems. They somehow elected AOC as speaker and then when the same happened in the senate, they impeached the orange man and his henchman and AOC became president. (not withstanding what you think of AOC, I was going for something wildly in the other direction) I like the phrase, "don't abuse your imagination by dreaming up all the worst outcomes" and it's good to give your imagination a much better path to run down.
All that said - this is definitely a challenging time and is going to be for a while. The biggest act of resisance I have is to find joy every day.
And I'm completely remiss not to say BIRDS. Birds and furry creatures. And babies, but I don't have babies around so birds and furry creatures it is.
Did I mention I have installed small white boards all over my house and I write notes to myself with inspirational messages, reminders, and just little bits of encouragement? Plus I have one whole wall of inspirational quotes and things to help my mindset.
Oh - and did I mention Zox bracelets?!? I need a visual reminder on my wrist EVERY DAY.
1) Talk to person from the other side of the political spectrum, and ask lot's of questions. You will find their side interesting, trust me. Where their ideas come from, (much as Mike stated above, a lot of it is fear based). STAY curious, and try not to make counter statements, that lead to them "digging in the heels". Wait for them to ask you questions, and don't be surprised if they don't follow the same rules in engagement. Be patient.
2) Breathe. Get outside, for any reason (I know not earth shattering, but it is THE antidote to all sorts of things).
3) Get Off-line or tailor your social media feeds to stop the spiral. Go Analog!
4) Volunteer. At ANYTHING. Doing "Something" especially in the real world is immensely helpful.
5) Learn a new skill. If you don't know how to cook/paint/write/build, find a new skill. Personally, I am cooking right now, and really loving it.
Not very original, I know. But sometimes the answers are right there, in the simple things.
Completely agree with these! I talk to people across the political spectrum daily bc I work in bridge-building and those conversations can be tense sometimes, but so rewarding. Has to be coupled with getting offline regularly though for me.
Hard to add anything original to this list when the classics are classics for a reason!
I believe reading this piece (as a good example) and other reasoned positive essays which are not overly dramatic is a reassuring way to regain one’s own balance and organise your thoughts. Thanks Mike.
What I wrote this morning. Essentially doing nothing not an option, doing everything not an option, so chose SOME actions to help bind wounds and tell the truth, engage more with people directly, personally continue to write stuff which shows decency and ends in optimism even when I am personally not, keep telling the people who matter to me I do. And if your helplessness means you need to call me out for doing even a little, please don't. https://stephencox.substack.com/p/writing-good-work-in-bad-times
You're not responsible for the outcome, just the effort you put in.
And the other one is Be kind. Everyone you meet is fighting their own battle.
Give yourself time to create something. Try a craft or an art tutorial or frost some cookies! Or sit down and color. It’s meditative and good for your health! (And don’t say “I’m not creative” because that’s bogus.)
Appreciate your list of tactics, Mike, and employ many of them. I have two additional ideas that I come back to often.
1. Direct your energy to that which is in your sphere of influence.
2. Better living through lowered expectations.
Both of these could be construed as cop-outs or falling prey to thinking too small. I see them differently. I can't influence much that's happening on a global scale, and my ability to significantly affect our national crisis is pretty limited. But I can pay attention to city- and county-level politics. I can check on the folks in my community who might need some extra help right now. I can look for ways to build community.
When I seek common ground among those with whom I know I disagree, I usually find something. I can't expect to change anyone's mind, but I can cultivate civility.
fall asleep under cat, like I did approximately half an hour ago
Whenever possible, sleep in.
Meet people face to face. There have been so many times in my work as a journalist that I've interviewed someone or reported from a demonstration held by people whose politics I don't share (which is putting it mildly) only to have been gobsmacked to discover that they are generally kind, thoughtful people trying to do right by their families and communities. It's a reminder of everyone's humanity that is hard to get when you're only interacting through screens.
So many good things on this thread, both from you Mike and from your readers. I think many of them work very well but two things are essential to me in hard times (learned from the Bhagavad Gita, which is set in a battlefield): 1. focus on what you do have (which is a subset of gratitude). It is too easy to always concentrate on the losses or what is missing but there are plenty of treasures and allies right here (for me, I cannot speak for everyone) and 2. Remember your values, principles, reasons for being here. Once I articulated these, they became my North star, allowing me to navigate the darkest of nights.
My list:
- meditation
- the four noble truths, the five rememberances
- gratitude journaling (it sounds stupid, but it does actually help)
- "it's not your fault, but it is your responsibility"
- everything is a practice
- "don't just do something, stand there"
- we must do things that are not enough. If we're getting in shape, one walk isn't enough. If we're solving climate change, picking up litter is not enough. But it will never be enough unless we start with the things that aren't.
- the smarter you are, the easier it is to justify anything to yourself and others. Have intellectual humility.
- whether you do the hard thing or not, the time will still pass. Three years from now, you will be three years older, the question is what will you have accomplished in that time?
- emotions are not inherently good or bad, they're data. Observe them.
- you cannot always have things without an emotional cost. Feel guilty for asking for help? Don't ask how not to feel guilty, do it with the guilt, fear, anxiety. Welcome them and do not shy away from any experience.
(1) There is no "them." There's just "us." Avoiding general hand-wavy doomsaying about "them", as a language habit, requires you to be more specific about who you're calling out for what. And adopting the habit of "us" language also means that you keep the mantle of agency. I can't do anything to change "them" but I can do a lot to change "us."
(2) If you feel blocked on getting started with something you want to do (or something you need to do regardless of whether you want to), break it down into smaller steps, and just start with the first step. If you get stuck on that, break just that piece down into smaller steps. Sometimes the reason we procrastinate is that the to-do item is just too big to bite off. "Start a new community event series" is not a single to-do, but "email Tricia to ask about event room availability at the library" is. "Start doing yoga" is too vague to be actionable, but "look up dates and times of beginner classes at studio on Elm St" is totally do-able.
It might seem an odd thing to bring to a science newsletter, but one of the greatest lessons of my life were my mom’s on spiritual discipline. Specifically, showing up to Quaker Meeting of a Sunday even when my peers had aged out and were nowhere to be found. She would tell me, “God doesn’t show up because you decided to show up. God shows up when God decides. Your only job is to show up so when God decides to show up you don’t miss it.”
I find this to be true with love and inspiration and understanding and all manner of elusive, non-corporeal things. My job isn’t to know. It’s to show up with an openness to receiving. That’s it.