Finding purpose in serving others, spending more time with others — it all points toward the same thing, Lyubomirsky says. “After all these years, it hit me,” she says. “The reason that all of these interventions are working is because they make people feel more connected to others. So when I write a gratitude letter to my mom, it makes me feel more connected to my mom. When I do an act of kindness, it makes me feel more connected to the person I’m helping, or just humanity as a whole. Yes, you could go running, and that would make you happier, and meditation doesn’t necessarily have to be about other people. But I would say that 95 percent of things that are effective in making people happy and that have been shown to be true through happiness interventions are because they make people feel more connected to other people.”
...
That strong marriages and family relationships make people happier — yes, that’s intuitive, Lyubomirsky acknowledges. What she found more surprising was just how effective even having smaller points of connection throughout the day could be for happiness — and how achievable that is, if people could only overcome their own hesitation. “If someone were to ask me what’s the one thing you could do tomorrow to be happier, that’s my answer: having a conversation with someone — or a deeper conversation than you normally do,” she says.
Talking to strangers — on trains, in a coffee shop, at the playground, on line at the D.M.V., in the waiting room at the doctor’s office — could be dismissed as an exercise that simply makes the time pass. But it could also be seen as a moving reflection of how eager we all are, every day, to connect with other humans whose interiority would otherwise be a mystery, individuals in whose faces we might otherwise read threat, judgment, boredom or diffidence. Talking to strangers guarantees novelty, possibly even learning. It holds the promise, each time, of unexpected insight.
It’s also from the world of money as in financial instruments e.g. in credit default swaps (!!!!) and packaged financial options. NB I may have this wrong as “I am not an accountant” or much else really 😅
A phone call isn't going to do it, Mike. Can we book a week in a pub instead?
Tranche. From the French word for slice? As in a slice of bread? « Une tranche de pain ».
Just read this which reminded me of your calls:
Finding purpose in serving others, spending more time with others — it all points toward the same thing, Lyubomirsky says. “After all these years, it hit me,” she says. “The reason that all of these interventions are working is because they make people feel more connected to others. So when I write a gratitude letter to my mom, it makes me feel more connected to my mom. When I do an act of kindness, it makes me feel more connected to the person I’m helping, or just humanity as a whole. Yes, you could go running, and that would make you happier, and meditation doesn’t necessarily have to be about other people. But I would say that 95 percent of things that are effective in making people happy and that have been shown to be true through happiness interventions are because they make people feel more connected to other people.”
...
That strong marriages and family relationships make people happier — yes, that’s intuitive, Lyubomirsky acknowledges. What she found more surprising was just how effective even having smaller points of connection throughout the day could be for happiness — and how achievable that is, if people could only overcome their own hesitation. “If someone were to ask me what’s the one thing you could do tomorrow to be happier, that’s my answer: having a conversation with someone — or a deeper conversation than you normally do,” she says.
Talking to strangers — on trains, in a coffee shop, at the playground, on line at the D.M.V., in the waiting room at the doctor’s office — could be dismissed as an exercise that simply makes the time pass. But it could also be seen as a moving reflection of how eager we all are, every day, to connect with other humans whose interiority would otherwise be a mystery, individuals in whose faces we might otherwise read threat, judgment, boredom or diffidence. Talking to strangers guarantees novelty, possibly even learning. It holds the promise, each time, of unexpected insight.
From Susan Dominus
https://www.nytimes.com/2025/05/01/magazine/happiness-research-studies-relationships.html
I want to sign up for one of these, Mike! It’s been too long!
The question is, do you like murder mysteries and crime fiction?
What a great idea! Love it.
Terribly great. Looking forward to it!
I’m a paying subscriber and this is the first I’ve heard of these calls. Talk about incompetence. Where have I been?
Glad to hear about the plane thing.
It’s also from the world of money as in financial instruments e.g. in credit default swaps (!!!!) and packaged financial options. NB I may have this wrong as “I am not an accountant” or much else really 😅