My Ma went through a stage of collecting, cutting and polishing up minerals, and I was entranced - take off the sand-scuffed exteriors and rocks become so incredibly beautiful. But also, there's so much going on along a shoreline...
This week, after grumbling about the fruit p-… ok, the thicket-of-feral raspberries, gooseberries, brambles, couch-grass and honeysuckle for 10 years, I got out my elbow grease and implements of destruction, and sorted it. New raspberries. Pruned gooseberries shivering in their suddenly-visible winter nakedness. Mulch, by all that’s holy!
Thank you for the insight, Mike. Your article clarified why *now* was the time it had to happen (aside from spring, and all that…). I found something I could fix. Something that made me feel part of a solution. Something that goes forwards, that reminds me every day that, in July, there will be raspberries (*after all that work there had better be raspberries!*). I can’t *do* much for Ukraine that’s more helpful than support better people than me to do their thing. I’ve done that, and will do more. But in July, there will be raspberries…
And yes, you hit on something else important here - at times like this, working a project that's a reminder of long-term cycles, the repeatable, (somewhat) predictable, welcome changes that make life worth living and delicious to anticipate and always so surprising. And also - building. You were building something. What's going on in Ukraine right now is an attempted anti-building of so many things. A good response to that evil energy, however indirectly, is to look for a way to build something, to push back against all that destructive chaos. To assemble and Make.
(That's what humans should be best at. We should be builders. And I reckon that's something that can be felt, deep in our bones, whever we build something. A kind of spiritual "aha! That felt...*correct*" that can have such a profound effect on our mood and self-confidence.)
You inspired me to get in gear a bit and finally order seed potatoes for the year! It's nice to think of turning over the soil and planting future food.
LOVE this: "...you need to take a break. Just a short one. And not a guilty one either. This isn’t “ignoring Ukraine” - this is “making sure you’re physically and mentally capable of keeping paying attention to everything in the near future”. (Who exactly does it help if you’re completely exhausted?)" Amen, brother.
I believe we all retreat to the past (collecting sea coal) when the modern world is too much for us. I think that is why people believe their old setups for vinyl records truly sound 'cleaner'. It is more likely the ritual of removing it from the sleeve, looking at the album art, cleaning the disc and eventually returning it to its 'desired' spot. Order restored. In ten more years I will not be surprised if 40 somethings are resurrecting iPods assured they sound cleaner than streamed music. Its what we do and it feels good at times.
There's a lovely term in the book "Uncertainty" by Jonathan Fields - he calls these things "certainty anchors" (I think he might have borrowed it from elsewhere). We all need them in some form.
But sometimes, if our certainty anchors are places ("home"), well, places have a habit of changing - and I guess this will become amplified by the shifting climate in decades to come, so all of a sudden "home" isn't going to feel like home anymore for some people. Something for the therapists of the future to deal with, perhaps...
Certainty anchors has a wonderful ring to it. I've been exploring in my writing and my thoughts how untethered people are destined to become. The most recent 'Ages' Agricultural and Industrial at least stretched much longer than a human lifetime. People born today, with accelerating technology trends will not only live through one age but perhaps even a significant portion of a second! Adaptability is so difficult as we age it is going to be a large stresser for society. Lots of therapist work indeed. Perhaps more than our kit in our heads will readily handle.
Thank you, this is just so perfectly what I needed today. 100% we have to find a way to keep connecting back to a place of stability and groundedness. Last weekend I stressed myself out so badly my back and neck seized up and I have spent the week gently, slowly recovering. A lottttttt of meditation apps. Finding the ways I could help. And then gently coming back to how do I ground myself so I am the most helpful and kindest human I can be right now. Certaily kindness is something I can at least try to do. Thank you for this.
That is a wonderful way to respond. And also an anti-cynical way.
I feel like...it's so easy to give in to the "argument" that times like these are subtly projecting onto us: that Most People are awful, that The World is f***ed, that All People In Power are evil and so on. Big generalisms that rely on really simplistic negatives. And it's hard to argue against them when the apparent evidence for them is so, so loud. *That's* when it's really hard not to become cynical. Especially when cynicism is seen as sophisticated & fashionable - and also kinda presents itself as a way to protect our fragile emotions ("why hope for better? Just accept everything's always terrible and you'll never be disappointed...") - even though it actually destroys our ability to feel anything over time, so eventually there's nothing to protect.
So - choosing kindness and being willing & able to help is hard - and it matters. Especially so right now. Good on you for doing that, Karen.
Brene Brown says that anger is easy because anger is accepted in our culture as "not weak". Kindness is harder and takes courage because it feels more vulnerable. Definitely worth it! And really - the people I get to know one on one are not awful. Even the ones that were voting for Trump and continue to use their votes in ways I cannot understand. Like the chiropractor who ardently supports Trump, but every time it snows he quietly and without telling anyone goes and shovels the driveway of a number of people he knows can't shovel their own. I really do believe that people are generally good - if you can get through the armor.
I was going to ask you - do you find cooking does this for you? Like, preparing something sufficiently complex that there's no waiting-time and you're totally in running-around-like-mad mode until it's all ready?
In which case, I wonder if preparing & hosting meals for other people is a great way to deal with Big News Anxiety?
I almost added that to my original comment, Mike. You got it exactly right. Concentrating on measuring ingredients, timing , prepping - the whole thing calms me down. (Then you get to share and serve what you made :)
But getting outside for a walk, especially near water, and especially if it’s windy outside really clears my head.
I fully support exploring a place you’ve never been in the town that you live. The less touristy and known, the better. Every time I’ve ever done that, it’s paid off in all kinds of ways. Hell, thanks to one expedition, I ended up creating a new Substack!
So for the novel I’ve been working on, I needed some interesting local spots to work into the story (it’s set in St. Louis, where I live). On the way to one, I looked off to the side and saw this cool bridge. It was in a really weird place and I couldn’t even figure out how to get down to it at first. finally I did, and became obsessed about it and had to know why it was there. That turned into one article (https://unseenstlouis.substack.com/p/a-little-but-mighty-bridge), which led to another, and I realized that I really liked researching lesser known areas of town. So I moved those from my original Substack to a new Substack and now I’ve started writing regularly about the city.  The one I’m working on now talks about the first Irish settlement in the city and involves local kings and witches. I think this one is going to be pretty cool. 🇮🇪☘️
One of my mantras is that walking can't always give you the answers you need, but the action can be its own kind of answer. At a minimum, we can go for a walk and remind ourselves that we're alive.
Absolutely that. Using our bodies to land ourselves back in ourselves, instead of worrying about the future, regretting the past, agonising about things currently wholly outside our control and so on. I love that about a good walk. It feels like a box ticked on an important list you weren't formerly aware of.
Got to walk my kid to school for the first time today since getting Covid, and it felt hard and SO GOOD. To feel that ice crunching underfoot and to be in the world ...
So you're saying ... assign my daughter an essay??? I don't know if she'll take it on but I CAN guarantee that if she did it would include unicorns and winged wolves and we could all use more of that. (Today's conversation was a long rundown of what's going on with the dragons living on the island with the dragon-eating plants in the Wings of Fire series.)
Am I saying that? Or am I saying "you write it, including both your perspectives, partly trying to see the world through her eyes, via asking her what she sees?"
I don't know! The interpretation of it is up to you.
There really is something magical about being on a beach in the fresh coastal air and collecting things in a bucket, isn't there.
Firmly agree! Such a treat.
My Ma went through a stage of collecting, cutting and polishing up minerals, and I was entranced - take off the sand-scuffed exteriors and rocks become so incredibly beautiful. But also, there's so much going on along a shoreline...
On that topic, this is a magnificent book: https://www.theguardian.com/books/2021/jul/19/the-sea-is-not-made-of-water-by-adam-nicolson-review-of-mollusc-and-men
(I also like sleeping on the beach in a bivvy-tent. I'm one of *those* weirdos.)
This week, after grumbling about the fruit p-… ok, the thicket-of-feral raspberries, gooseberries, brambles, couch-grass and honeysuckle for 10 years, I got out my elbow grease and implements of destruction, and sorted it. New raspberries. Pruned gooseberries shivering in their suddenly-visible winter nakedness. Mulch, by all that’s holy!
Thank you for the insight, Mike. Your article clarified why *now* was the time it had to happen (aside from spring, and all that…). I found something I could fix. Something that made me feel part of a solution. Something that goes forwards, that reminds me every day that, in July, there will be raspberries (*after all that work there had better be raspberries!*). I can’t *do* much for Ukraine that’s more helpful than support better people than me to do their thing. I’ve done that, and will do more. But in July, there will be raspberries…
This is wonderful. Thank you, Rachel.
And yes, you hit on something else important here - at times like this, working a project that's a reminder of long-term cycles, the repeatable, (somewhat) predictable, welcome changes that make life worth living and delicious to anticipate and always so surprising. And also - building. You were building something. What's going on in Ukraine right now is an attempted anti-building of so many things. A good response to that evil energy, however indirectly, is to look for a way to build something, to push back against all that destructive chaos. To assemble and Make.
(That's what humans should be best at. We should be builders. And I reckon that's something that can be felt, deep in our bones, whever we build something. A kind of spiritual "aha! That felt...*correct*" that can have such a profound effect on our mood and self-confidence.)
I'm rambling. I'll stop. Great job. :)
You inspired me to get in gear a bit and finally order seed potatoes for the year! It's nice to think of turning over the soil and planting future food.
Love this. A wonderful reminder for all of us!
LOVE this: "...you need to take a break. Just a short one. And not a guilty one either. This isn’t “ignoring Ukraine” - this is “making sure you’re physically and mentally capable of keeping paying attention to everything in the near future”. (Who exactly does it help if you’re completely exhausted?)" Amen, brother.
I believe we all retreat to the past (collecting sea coal) when the modern world is too much for us. I think that is why people believe their old setups for vinyl records truly sound 'cleaner'. It is more likely the ritual of removing it from the sleeve, looking at the album art, cleaning the disc and eventually returning it to its 'desired' spot. Order restored. In ten more years I will not be surprised if 40 somethings are resurrecting iPods assured they sound cleaner than streamed music. Its what we do and it feels good at times.
Agreed. And a perfect example, yes, thank you.
There's a lovely term in the book "Uncertainty" by Jonathan Fields - he calls these things "certainty anchors" (I think he might have borrowed it from elsewhere). We all need them in some form.
But sometimes, if our certainty anchors are places ("home"), well, places have a habit of changing - and I guess this will become amplified by the shifting climate in decades to come, so all of a sudden "home" isn't going to feel like home anymore for some people. Something for the therapists of the future to deal with, perhaps...
Certainty anchors has a wonderful ring to it. I've been exploring in my writing and my thoughts how untethered people are destined to become. The most recent 'Ages' Agricultural and Industrial at least stretched much longer than a human lifetime. People born today, with accelerating technology trends will not only live through one age but perhaps even a significant portion of a second! Adaptability is so difficult as we age it is going to be a large stresser for society. Lots of therapist work indeed. Perhaps more than our kit in our heads will readily handle.
My mentor said “in times of change, discover what you can hold onto”
I had no idea about the mountain ranges all being one! Definitely a newsletter in that methinks.
SO TEMPTING. :)
Thank you, this is just so perfectly what I needed today. 100% we have to find a way to keep connecting back to a place of stability and groundedness. Last weekend I stressed myself out so badly my back and neck seized up and I have spent the week gently, slowly recovering. A lottttttt of meditation apps. Finding the ways I could help. And then gently coming back to how do I ground myself so I am the most helpful and kindest human I can be right now. Certaily kindness is something I can at least try to do. Thank you for this.
That is a wonderful way to respond. And also an anti-cynical way.
I feel like...it's so easy to give in to the "argument" that times like these are subtly projecting onto us: that Most People are awful, that The World is f***ed, that All People In Power are evil and so on. Big generalisms that rely on really simplistic negatives. And it's hard to argue against them when the apparent evidence for them is so, so loud. *That's* when it's really hard not to become cynical. Especially when cynicism is seen as sophisticated & fashionable - and also kinda presents itself as a way to protect our fragile emotions ("why hope for better? Just accept everything's always terrible and you'll never be disappointed...") - even though it actually destroys our ability to feel anything over time, so eventually there's nothing to protect.
So - choosing kindness and being willing & able to help is hard - and it matters. Especially so right now. Good on you for doing that, Karen.
Brene Brown says that anger is easy because anger is accepted in our culture as "not weak". Kindness is harder and takes courage because it feels more vulnerable. Definitely worth it! And really - the people I get to know one on one are not awful. Even the ones that were voting for Trump and continue to use their votes in ways I cannot understand. Like the chiropractor who ardently supports Trump, but every time it snows he quietly and without telling anyone goes and shovels the driveway of a number of people he knows can't shovel their own. I really do believe that people are generally good - if you can get through the armor.
This title! Perfect. You’re so right about taking a break, even for a little while. Thanks for this reminder, Mike.
I was going to ask you - do you find cooking does this for you? Like, preparing something sufficiently complex that there's no waiting-time and you're totally in running-around-like-mad mode until it's all ready?
In which case, I wonder if preparing & hosting meals for other people is a great way to deal with Big News Anxiety?
I almost added that to my original comment, Mike. You got it exactly right. Concentrating on measuring ingredients, timing , prepping - the whole thing calms me down. (Then you get to share and serve what you made :)
But getting outside for a walk, especially near water, and especially if it’s windy outside really clears my head.
I fully support exploring a place you’ve never been in the town that you live. The less touristy and known, the better. Every time I’ve ever done that, it’s paid off in all kinds of ways. Hell, thanks to one expedition, I ended up creating a new Substack!
Hooray! That is a wonderful creative win. What happened there? I'd love to know the details...
So for the novel I’ve been working on, I needed some interesting local spots to work into the story (it’s set in St. Louis, where I live). On the way to one, I looked off to the side and saw this cool bridge. It was in a really weird place and I couldn’t even figure out how to get down to it at first. finally I did, and became obsessed about it and had to know why it was there. That turned into one article (https://unseenstlouis.substack.com/p/a-little-but-mighty-bridge), which led to another, and I realized that I really liked researching lesser known areas of town. So I moved those from my original Substack to a new Substack and now I’ve started writing regularly about the city.  The one I’m working on now talks about the first Irish settlement in the city and involves local kings and witches. I think this one is going to be pretty cool. 🇮🇪☘️
One of my mantras is that walking can't always give you the answers you need, but the action can be its own kind of answer. At a minimum, we can go for a walk and remind ourselves that we're alive.
Absolutely that. Using our bodies to land ourselves back in ourselves, instead of worrying about the future, regretting the past, agonising about things currently wholly outside our control and so on. I love that about a good walk. It feels like a box ticked on an important list you weren't formerly aware of.
🚶🏻♀️
Got to walk my kid to school for the first time today since getting Covid, and it felt hard and SO GOOD. To feel that ice crunching underfoot and to be in the world ...
I have a request:
A walking-to-school essay written from the perspective of....both of you. (Interpret this however you wish, but fully.)
*flings gauntlet down on ice* DOST THOU ACCEPT?
Ouch! (that hit my foot) (kidding!)
So you're saying ... assign my daughter an essay??? I don't know if she'll take it on but I CAN guarantee that if she did it would include unicorns and winged wolves and we could all use more of that. (Today's conversation was a long rundown of what's going on with the dragons living on the island with the dragon-eating plants in the Wings of Fire series.)
Am I saying that? Or am I saying "you write it, including both your perspectives, partly trying to see the world through her eyes, via asking her what she sees?"
I don't know! The interpretation of it is up to you.
😈 #annoying #troublemaker #challenge
Now THAT is a challenge! Hm ...
Also - sea coal?!? Who knew???
Brand-new to me too! I'm normally unwilling to link to the Daily Mail for any reason, but this is a lovely overview of it: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2309040/The-twilight-seacoaling-Pictures-capture-dying-industry-men-scrape-coal-washed-sea.html
Thanks so much for a terrific read! Looking from your perspective helps me feel better in the midst of it all.
Thank you, Carol! I'm so glad you've found something in my idiotic ramblings that helped...
Just thank you
And just thank you back.